What In The Actual WTF?

Are you there, America? It’s me: Kellyanne. So…kind of a long story, but Red is now the presumptive president elect of the United States of America. I never thought a bar bet would lead me here. I’ve had this awkward, toothy smile plastered all over my face for the last three hours and I swear to my personal Lord and Savior I’m going to absolutely f***ing lose it if I hear the word “Yuge” again.

I’ve explained to Red several times that the Electoral College isn’t like Trump University and that he:

  1. can’t buy it, because it’s not really a “thing”
  2. doesn’t have to buy it even if he could (which he can’t) because he already “won”

We’ll see what happens with the popular vote, but early projections show that the Electoral College methodology is outdated and useless because the Clinton b**h is probably going to take most (if not all) of California. But what’s nearly 3 million people when you get right down to it? If you believe the liberal hype, that’s only half of the Jews “killed” by the Control-Option-Right back in the 40’s.

Anywhoodle, I’m going to call it a night. It’s been a real whirlwind so far and I feel like the next four years are going to be…exhausting. But fun. But mostly exhausting. But fun…and exhausting.

My face hurts. How about you?

Hugs and Kisses!


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