About Me

I was born on January 20, 1967, in Camden, New Jersey, to Diane Fitzpatrick. my father, who had Irish ancestry, owned a small trucking company, and my mother, who was of Italian descent, worked at a bank. As is evidenced by my lack of moral character, they taught me nothing throughout my childhood. They divorced when I was three and made it clear it was my fault because I cried when I got hurt and had too many “feelings”. I was raised by my mother, grandmother and two unmarried aunts in the Atco section of Waterford Township, New Jersey and graduated from St. Joseph High School in 1985. My family’s religion is Catholic (I know, shocking, right?).

I really think my experience working for eight summers on a blueberry farm in Hammonton, New Jersey taught me what I flippantly refer to as a strong work ethic, but am just confusing strong work ethic with things people do to not starve to death. I remember thinking: “The faster you went, the more money you’d make.” I thought it was revelatory at the time, but then realized that the same thought had been had by everyone who’s ever held a job of any kind. Ever. At age 16 I won the New Jersey Blueberry Princess pageant, which remains the highlight of my life. At 20, I won the World Champion Blueberry Packing competition. I am SUPER into blueberries to this day.  “Everything I learned about life and business started on that farm…[and it shows]”

I received my B.A. magna cum laude in political science from Trinity College, Washington, D.C. (now Trinity Washington University), where I was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and was a total “Wooo!” girl. I then earned a J.D. with honors from the George Washington University Law School in 1992. I served as a judicial clerk for Judge Richard A. Levie of the Superior Court of the District of Columbia after graduation.

On June 31, 2016 I lost a bar bet and was forced to accept a senior advisory position on Donald Trump’s presidential campaign as punishment. I was expected to advise Trump on how to better appeal to female voters, despite knowing very little about them myself (hence the bet). On August 19, Red named me as his campaign’s third campaign manager (I know! Right?). I served in this capacity for 10 weeks, through the November 8 general election, and was the first woman to run a Republican general election presidential campaign.

I have trouble sleeping at night and often wake up screaming for some reason that eludes me.  I’d go to therapy, but Red thinks that’s only for “non-binary pussies and Communists.” So that’s out.

Hugs and kisses!